Dennis Swanberg - Bengy and the Zipper

Life is precious...

Sorry to bombard you with two posts today but I felt they were both SO important to share.  Many of you have probably heard about the man who was killed in the parking lot behind the forum yesterday morning.  This was such a tragic and horrible situation.  He was 33 years old with a wife who has been at home with their three young children, the youngest at a year old.  This has been on my mind relentlessly because all I can think about is his widow and their three children and the agony she is going through.  Another thought that struck my mind was how their night was the night before and if she had a chance to say 'I love you' or kiss him good-bye.  This brings tears to my eyes thinking about it because if I were in her shoes I would already be feeling SO many regrets.  It's probably obvious why I'm sharing this but its also a good reminder that needs to be brought up every so often, especially when the mundane starts to set in.  Imagine for a moment that God gave you a glimpse that your husband would be taken from this life and you could not see him again until Heaven -- how sad and desolate this life would be, but how much better would it be knowing that he knew how loved he was that you knew you gave him a good life as your wife and that your separation would only be momentary.  To send him off with a kiss and a heartfelt 'I love you' obviously doesn't make it any easier but knowing that you sent him out of this world with a full tank of lovin' WILL give you peace of mind down the road!  So love on your man like it's the last time you might see him -- not to tears (they don't like that all the time), but so he knows that there really is no one and no place out there better than what he's got. 

-Nicole

Rising Above

Well this was meant for yesterday, but unfortunately I didn't get a chance to post but I thought this would be a a good way to show how I'm not always perfect and consistent with my intentions either but it doesn't mean I'm going to quit, right? :)  Anyway, it was really on my heart yesterday as I was thinking of Iuliana and looking back to the study she help guide and lead, Every Woman's Marriage.  It was such a great time in see the vulnerability, honest and genuine characters of other women -- espcially our very own, Iuliana.  I have always admired her ability to really love on her husband Brett and I feel like I've gotten an insider's view of why her determination is so strong.  I think many of us can relate to this.  Iuliana has shared with several of us her tumultuous growing up in Romania with two parents who didn't exactly show love and support.  She has shared how this has affected her in so many ways and even more so in her own marriage.  She will be the first to admit and give examples of how she is not the perfect wife but what makes her so awesome in my book is that she is always trying and always willing to change so she can be the ultimate wife for her husband and I love that about Iuli.  There are other women like Aimee Meyer who have also shared some similar background and family scenarios that have made her so determined to not fall into the category of 'just another statistic' and I love the way she has inspired us through her REAL thoughts emotions and desires -- we need to keep this going.  Once again, I am SO humbled by the great women I'm surrounded by and I can't thank you all enough for being real, Christian women who want to live out God's will -- this is truly amazing!

Daily Encouragement: Be REAL with your husband -- let him know how God is working in you and how much you love him today!

-Nicole

Friend or Foe?

I was reflecting this morning on how we have all met our husbands in different ways -- some of us knowing the sensation of love at first sight while others of us had no intention of marrying these men let alone thinking that they could possibly have any interest in us or vice versa and therefore settling in for a good friendship.  In fond remembrance of the courtship stories I've heard from Claire Phelan and Amy Young, I am reminded of how important it is to be our husbands greatest friend and not their greatest foe.  We should be the person whom they can share their dreams and fears with (btw, 'His Fears' are on today's prayer calendar).They should be able to confide in us when they can confide in no one else.  Finally, they should be able to have fun with us, where they would actually prefer to be with us at a movie or concert, etc. than with anyone else.  I also have to mention, and I know they aren't married yet, Anna and Kevin -- what a great love story that has slowly unfolded over the last couple of years.  I think it is safe to say that many of our prayers were answered with that one because they got along too well not to be together, even the little annoyances they had in each other were too cute not to notice and now their friendship is blossoming into a happily ever after storyr.  Let's be that couple again and let's keep the happily ever after alive!  Let's be his friend and his lover, his drink of water after a long day of thirst. 

Daily encouragement:  Do something with your husband that you used to do when you were 'just friends' (playing scrabble, writing poems together, playing video games, going for a walk outside or at the Mall) -- or spend some shoulder to shoulder time with him, saying very little but being there (adding those precious smiles can make a difference in this one too!) Have a great second week, ladies!

Today, after I got back from Walmart, I decided I needed a "Good Life Rule #4"...which I promptly posted to facebook...Good Life Rule #4: Never ever go to Walmart the day before the Super Bowl. Especially when the Packers are playing ...and ESPECIALLY when the blizzard kept the trucks from delivering this week. Angry Cheeseheads @Walmart =YIKES!

The good thing about coming up with my "Good Life Rule #4" is that it reminded me of my "Good Life Rules #1, #2 & #3. (And since I just figured out this "post" thing, I thought it was time to share.)

Good Life Rule #1: Love

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." -Matt. 22:37

"You are my Lord; Apart from You I have no good thing." -Ps. 16:2

Everything good and right in this life trickles down from this love. If this is right in my life I probably don't really even need any other life rules.

Good Life Rule #2: Forgive

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

-Ephesians 4:32

"I believed that if you were really in love and really soul mates, there would be this cosmic resonance, filled with huge chunks of agreement. What a crock! If only I'd known then that there are about three or four issues that are vital to life and about seven billion other details that don't really matter at all, I could have saved myself (and John!) boatloads of stress."

— Anita Renfroe

Good Life Rule #3: Pray

"For the sake of His great name the Lord will not reject His people, because the Lord was pleased to make you His own.

As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you.

And I will teach you the way that is good and right"

-1 Sam 12:22-24

"There is nothing that makes us love a man so much as praying for him." --William Law

"Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?"-- Corrie Ten Boom

"Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work." --Oswald Chambers

As Mary Ellen already mentioned, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" , whether we like it or not it's the way it is!

So we strive to Love and Forgive and Pray, to be the "therefore", ...giving our husbands the strength to say "I can present myself as a living sacrifice, acceptable to God which is my spiritual service of worship"

Illusions of Grandeur!

As is true with any challenge or race laid out before me...I start out strong, determined and with this grand illusion of great success, only to discover soon after the start of the journey, that it's called a "challenge" for a reason...cause it's stinkin HARD!

My illusions of grandeur and great success with this Love Challenge quickly faded to my dismay, as the epic snow storm rolled in this week, a head cold took residence in my body, and my little families needs overshadowed my quiet time of preparing my heart for 'service'. I have not followed the prayer calendar like I had hoped, not read the verses of encouragement given, and resorted to my old standby's of demonstrating 'love' to Mr. Warren instead of switching things up a bit.

But guess what....illusions aren't real....they're made up images in my mind of what I 'expect' something to be or turn out like. I have thought much about this and reviewed my week as Mrs. Warren and realized that I HAVE been more loving to my husband, he HAS seemed more at ease and happy, we HAVE been drawn together in joy more than normal, and our home IS a happier place. Why? Because even though my illusions were busted, I am still making more of an effort to serve my husband and put his needs above my own which means I am still in the race and I am still moving forward in this Love Journey! So I'm not giving up...I'm pressing on...and I pray you will too so we can cross that finish line together!

Prepare Your Man for Battle

I am not referring to the battle about who cleans up the kitchen or takes out the trash :) (we've all been there!)  But seriously ladies, our men are dealing with a worldly battle every time they step out our front doors, every time they turn on the tv and every time they use the internet.  They are constantly being exposed to so much exploitation of the flesh and other sexual temptations that it is ridiculous.  We, as women, are even affected by it as we constantly compare our own body images to the expectations of the world, to then be left with discontentment.  Unfortunately, the issues we are dealing with and what they are dealing with can even cause a wedge in our relationships, even more.  Satan is tearing people apart.  I hope we all have come to realize that our husbands would sacrifice their lives for us, they would throw themselves in front of a bullet or set out for bodily harm towards anyone attempting to hurt us.  So if they would go to battle for us, let's be able to prepare them for the battles they deal with every day in their personal walks.  Men and women have different biological needs when it comes to imtimacy -- we are more emotionally based and they are more physically based.  There have been times and will be times in our marriages where their needs for intimacy are much stronger than ours, but I strongly feel that when we do not set our husbands up for success in this area, we are letting them down.  By choosing their needs over our own in this area, we are choosing to give them a helmet and shield before battle.  We have to ask ourselves if we want to withhold this armor from these men who truly WANT to win the battle!  If any of you have husbands who participated in the Every Man's Battle book discussion, this is a great book for men and has really inspired me to be a better wife to my husband -- I'm not perfect, but definitely more aware of his needs.

Daily Encouragement: Prepare your man for battle!! :)